Dear Boogs,
I know that I really should just stop saying this, but it's true: I can't believe you are already 6 months. Time continues to go faster and faster (I should stop saying that too) and it really seems like I was just taking your 5 month picture and writing my letter to you.
The thing that is wierd, though, is that you being born feels like 5 minutes and also 100 years ago. I have heard that said before, but here comes another cliche: you don't understand it until it happens to you.
I think the reason this month seems shorter than the rest is because I feel the most normal I have felt since before you were born (as opposed to in the haze of being a mom to a newborn) and because you are different everyday. Everyday you seem bigger, more mature and are able to do something you couldn't do the day before. I am going to be honest, son, that those first few months were hard and long because I didn't know who you were and couldn't figure you out. Now that I know you, and you are awesome, it seems unfair that that makes time go faster.
I realized in this month that you have totally changed my life, and that I was totally ready for that to happen. I said to someone the other day, "Isn't this supposed to be harder?" I have given up so much since you've been here, from how we spend money, to my senority, to my full career, to my body and mental state. I have even given up a full head of hair and being able to wear anything other than flip flops comfortably. I have given up sleeping in, getting my nails done and laying around.
What I love about being a mama is that I don't think about any of that. I don't miss any of it.
Please don't take this to mean that I have this whole motherhood thing figured out, or that I find this all a breeze, because I really don't. My point was that I always thought that I would be resentful about everything that needed to be done and everything I have given up, or that I would reach a point of wishing that I could just go back to how it was before you. I might wish that for 5 minutes every once and a while, but 95% of the time I am ready to jump up and do whatever you need. I don't feel the need to complain about how you are sleeping, about making your food or washing your bottles. I don't even really care about how I look anymore. Like I said, don't get me wrong, I hate when I run out of clean bottles, or when I am awake at 1:45 am, and I miss the feeling of freshly painted finger nails and am totally annoyed at how my hair won't curl OR go straight like I want, but it all feels like part of a job that I am totally qualified and ready for.
This month you started eating real food and it is my favorite, favorite thing. Since breastfeeding didn't work out for us (despite both of our best efforts) I have looked forward to when I could make you fresh, healthy food. This month you tried avocado, sweet potatoes and peas, and also organic brown rice cereal. I am proud to say that you love all of it! I had so much fun this month scouring my books and websites for what I could try to fix you next, and then using my food processor to prep lots of meals for you. You now recognize when I am fixing you something to eat, and recognize your bowls and spoons and get so excited. You caught on to eating with a spoon the first time you tried it, and are a very hearty eater, and able to eat a whole medium avocado in 2 settings.
Eating has also fixed the other problems you have had so far in your life, from er digestive problems, to being petite to waking up at night. You now have normal diapers most of the time, and have grown SO much this month. You are much heavier and taller and you have grown out of all of the clothes that you were wearing.
My favorite thing of all? I feed you two servings of real food in between your evening bottles and you are back to sleeping through the night. You conk out as I am burping you from your last bottle, and sleep usually until Mama is about to get up anyway. I love waking up to the sound of you rolling around and talking to yourself in your crib.
Speaking of sleeping, this is the only thing from this month that makes me sad: you don't like me to cuddle you to sleep anymore. :( All of my usual tricks of walking up and down the hall patting your bottom, or swinging in the hammock or trying to cover your eyes with a burp cloth just make you mad. I can't tell if it is because you don't like them anymore, or because you know that I am trying to get you to go to sleep and you don't want to. In fact, this is the only time in the day that you are grumpy, when you are so tired but can't go to sleep on your own and also don't want to be cuddled. This usually only applies to nap times during the day, and I feel like it is starting to get better. I am just trying to be consistent and to train you that it's ok to be cuddled up in your bed, and even when this makes you mad, you always go to sleep eventually and wake up happy.
You started "talking" and giving mama "kisses" this month. When I pucker up my lips to you, you put your lips around mine and suck on them. Your favorite "words" are mamamamama and dadadadada and blahblahblah. A few times you sound like you said "OK!" and you are getting good at mimicking, from sticking your tongue out when we do, to repeating the sounds we make. One time you and I were on the speaker phone with Daddy and said "Who is that? Is that DADA?" and you said "DAH DAH." I almost dropped the phone I was so shocked. We don't think that you know you are saying Daddy's name, but that you are able to copy what we are saying. This makes me so excited, because in another life I would have been a linguist studying how language develops in young children. Language Acquisition has always been my favorite subject, and now I have my own living, breathing experiment to observe and study!
You love to turn any toy upside down and find the tag. That is what I always find you chewing on.
You are the cutest thing EVER when you wear jeans, a t shirt and your green chucks Vanessa got you.
You got to have your picture taken with Mama and her class on school picture day.
You are getting more active when at the table, and nothing is safe when it is within your reach.
You are still SO CLOSE to crawling. You just can't seem to get your belly and your booty off of the ground, but your arms and legs are always going. You can turn in a complete circle on your belly and your back, and can also flip from back to front and front to back.
You are still just the happiest, cutest thing, and everyone who meets you, loves you.
I am already so interested to see what you will be able to do when I next write a letter to you!
Love,
Mama
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