Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

I don't really dream big, or at least not specifically.

I feel too superstitious to plan or dream things specifically, because what if they don't happen? I have this odd feeling that as soon as I say I have to do this or that, something will pop up saying "Nuh UH, no you don't!"

I always knew that I wanted to get married, I wanted to travel, I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted a Red Mini Cooper, I wanted to have straight hair, I wanted to have an appointment with my nail girl every other week, I wanted to have a blue living room with perfect decorations, etc. etc. etc.

All of these things happened not by mistake, but they happened naturally. They occurred to me one day, and I took steps to achieve them.

This leaves me in an odd place these days, dream-wise. So many wonderful things have happened to me in the most random and unexpected ways that I have learned to look forward to the things that happen on their own. Why plan and dream when I can't possibly fathom all of the wonderful things that could happen out of the blue? I think this is why I can't really make a bucket list, because the things I want to do in my life will either happen naturally or I haven't thought of them yet.

That being said, I do hope to be a mom with kids who are funny, like to sing songs at the top of their lungs, read books and spin in circles in the living room.

I hope to conquer food in a real, healthy way.

I hope to be a great wife, and to continue to have a relationship that is stable and supportive.

I hope to become a real hostess, able to welcome people into my home with ease.

I hope to get really good at something that is not a job, to be the kind of person that will spend time and energy on the skills and community that come from a real hobby.

Most of all, I hope to live a Godly life and to go to Heaven.

And, I hope to remain close to you. :)