I think my mind is playing tricks on me right now, but I am sitting on the couch with the backdoor open and the chilly, wet feeling in the air combined with different smells keeps making me think of Christmas.
I really want it to be Christmas.
The same kind of Christmas as when I was a kid.
Ever since I read that story in The Book of Virtues about the kid who gets a ball of golden ribbon as a mysterious gift I have been hesitant to wish time past. (In the story the kid pulls out the ribbon a little at a time realizing that it makes boring time or hard time pass faster. At the end of the story he is an old man and has missed out on his whole life). I don't want to wish my life to be over faster, I just want October to be over, okay?
I started my last master's class (yay!) last week, I started my English class tonight, John is having unfortunate work issues, report cards are coming up and I just found out I need to take one more class in the next month. For the last 2 years October seems like the time when everything comes to a head.
At Christmas time, though, I get 2.5 weeks off from school (both kids and adults). I will have my Masters and will have moved all the way over on the payscale. We will know (hopefully) if we are having a boy or a girl, and I will be able to feel it move. I will be getting presents. I will be giving presents. My house will be sparkly and happy. John's job situation will hopefully be ironed out.
Right now the idea of Christmas is representing a lack of things to worry and wonder about and time to relax. I am sure I romanticizing it, but all I want to do right now is cuddle under my Christmas blanket and watch "White Christmas."
I guess I am a grown up, though, and there is no speeding up time. Everyone keeps telling me that this time is going to go by so quickly and that before I know it this little parasite of mine will be getting married, so I suppose I can hold my breath for a month...
3 comments:
My dad loves to tell the story of how when I was 9 or so I said aloud "I wish it was Friday." He replied with adult perspective that I "shouldn't wish my life away." Without a beat I am told I said "Fine, I wish it was last Friday." I try to remember this as I wish for Fridays. But it doesn't at all work for this Christmas for you. :)
I find it funny you call you baby a parasite. That is what Pat calls children (particularly the unborn). We were walking taget kid section. I saw a motorized mini cooper for kids - It made us think of you! I hope all goes well for you.
Rebekah
Don't hold your breath, BREATHE.
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